After one year in management, I have learned a lot about myself. (After 46 years of life I'm STILL learning about myself)
The biggest thing is that I expect too much of others.
That I should learn to NOT hold others to the same standard I live by or hold myself to.
When my boss first told me this in my performance evaluation I said, "so you're saying I should lower my standards?". She said "No. But you have to realize that NO ONE beside YOU will be able to meet such a high mark."
In other words, I'm a freak on the Island of Misfit Toys. I'm actually alright with that... as long as I have company :o)
I would love to believe that there is someone who STRIVES to meet such a mark who I have yet to meet. A girl can dream, right?
I think I have grown a lot in my management style as far as being realistic in my expectations.. at least professionally.
Personally - I'm still struggling with this.
Is it asking too much for another person to be as forthright and honest as I am?"At first glance, being honest seems like a fairly simple thing to do. At the very least, the criterion for it seems concise and comprehensible: DON'T LIE."
A friend once told me, and it matches the way I have raised my 3 sons: "Don't be a DICK".
So.. would I want someone to lie to me because they were worried that it might hurt my feelings?
YES: because it means they are NOT a DICK. AND because it means that they care enough to NOT want to hurt my feelings.
NO: because it is MY choice to allow my feelings to be hurt. Lying to me would hurt my feelings far worse (and more permanently) than the truth would.
Sometimes people lie to protect themselves from a "possible" negative reaction that MIGHT make THEM feel bad.
This PISSES ME THE FUCK OFF! It is selfish, cowardly and completely UNFAIR.
It's UNFAIR to attach feelings or a reaction to the other person that they haven't even had yet.