Gently down the stream...

I haven't had a "wow" moment in a long time. It's been overdue. Yesterday was my 1 year surgiversary and I am so blessed. I've been socially starving for the last 2 months and getting depressed over it. Self-inflicted hell was what it was.. See, I said, "was". Thank God for my brain!!! I know exactly what my Soul needs in order to be happy. I need to shorten the duration of going without though!! (Me and consistently do not get along.)

As I sit and watch the season premiere of So You Think You Can Dance. If you know me, you'll know how much I love this show!! It is so full of positive energy and I've missed that!! I need that energy around me at all times and I can only by interacting with people. And, making them think about how they feel and feel about how they think.

Anyway, this is all about teaching. Back a few posts, I wrote about my NEED to teach.

15 minutes ago I was led to an online lecture about Abraham Maslow. And I went to get the link at Facebook and the 'wow' moment went nuclear. I ended up at the EduFire website. When you create an account, you have to choose:

First Time Here? Welcome!

I am a:
Student  (I want to learn from an online tutor)
Teacher  (I want to teach online for payment)

 

So was I led here to help me teach or to learn? I'll have to meditate on that one.

 

Or.. there could be that I don't really need the PhD to teach (as many smart people have said). I keep making excuses to fill out the paperwork. But what if I really don't have to? Then I wouldn't be debt until the day I become a natural reef - LMAO!! Note to brain:  YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO BE MEDITATING!!

 

I never had the ability to make people change and believe using ration and logic anyway. (And for the longest time that is the only approach to my fellow humans that I understood -childhood shit.) LONG story on the metamorphasis that has taken place (but a fun one, that's for sure!)  

 

Way back at the beginning of this post, I wanted to explain the 'wow'. Maslow: "What one *can* be, one *must* be." And hence comes that the feeling that I'm going to explode if I don't TEACH! I am going to the lecture! Check out http://www.philosophersnotes.com  Come on! It's his birthday today! Help him teach, for it is what he was put here to do.

 

If you've read this far and haven't had a seizure from all the colors :=) Thanks for keeping up with my lessons of today!

 

And now, back to our regularly scheduled programming: going back to dancing - it makes me happy.

And I'm back. (Terminator: Salvation was just okay and it was nice they payed homage to the originals.) Oops, no I'm not.

Okay, yes I am. So what were we discussing? Oh yeah, How do I get on with my purpose???? I'm the way, but daaaayyyyuuuummmm - I have NO PATIENCE!! Things just don't move as fast as I want them to! And then I get bored and lose interest and get spiritually constipated, then I have to go through this whole process of purging and re-learning the same damn lessons I already know. I WANT OFF THIS ROLLERCOASTER! (getting a Cedar Point season pass - woohoo!)

Seriously, everyone knows that I HATE REPEATING MYSELF!!! Fuck! Sorry (no I'm not), but I really need a good swift kick sometimes. What I call God bashing me upside my head with a 2 X 4!! Eventually, I'll get it. Why does LIFE have to get in the way of movement forward versus in a circle?!

You know, one just got me...

I haven't been watching TV much (except So you think you can dance and Saving Grace comes back the day after my birthday!) So my Angels have to communicate with me through music. And hindsight is awesomely clear.

Last night on the way to work, I heard The Eagles' "Wasted Time". No biggie, like the song.

But right now, I've got a song stuck in my head I heard this morning on the way home. Actually, a particular lyric:

"Oh, I'm so blind Oh, I'm blind
I wasted time Wasted, wasted, wasted time
Walkin' on the wire, high wire
But I must let the show go on

And I just now realized today's THEME! See letter to the pen pal years ago about wasting my talents but not having a clue what those were. You've come a long way, baby!"

And for confirmation the song lyric popped back in and screamed "I must let the show go on" ---

That spiritual kick in the ass I can always count on? YEPPERS!

I HAVE TO MOVE FORWARD. I have to stay on track. I need other people to help me. I consistently ask for that and the people that pop in and out or stay are all pretty damn cool. Would it be too much to ask for to have the help on a consistent basis? HA! I've never been consistent one day in my life - is that Karma?? A self-inflicted punishment? (Whoa, that was deep - Applied Behavior Analysis just ran through my head - finals week.) Perhaps it is. WTF???

I of all people know just how powerful the Law of Attraction is! Even at my lowest wallowing point, little Synchronicity would slip in to keep me from sinking. You won't ever convince that me we don't have Angels.

Oh - so, I'm wallowing but climbing out of it - (lyric: with a little help from my friends)... I was really stressed out over money and school. The school one was easy - write a sugary-sweet but bitchy letter to the professor, get the fuck over it and do a good job on her final paper.

The money one - never so easy. But I'm getting much better at trusting. And as soon as I hit solid ground, I changed my thinking and started trusting. Yesterday I got an email telling me my stipend has been mailed and I'm getting a check for $700!! See previous posts about The Law at work in my lfie.

HA - writing is my avenue of putting The Law to work for me too. As I'm writing it, my thinking patterns are positive and I start to attract. I was just led here:

Wayne Dyer's movie, "The Shift - Ambition to Meaning: Finding your life's purpose.

Do I sound mmildly manic? Or is it just my crazy astrological profile stuff :-)

 The Gemini/Goat is a firefly who flits about in others' lives out of sheer caprice; a tired pessimist who denigrates and disagrees with the world at large; or perhaps he's the eternally disappointed critic whose longing for perfection (in others, of course) leads him to drop acerbic comments as though they were rose petals. The Gemini/Goat is a bit of a lot of different things. You won't find many Goats running around loose. Goats need other people. All Goats require both company and guiding forces. Gemini is the mercurial sign: quick, volatile, fickle. So put these together. Dependency and fickleness. Like a smiling, chubby baby who's looking around for a change from his dull parents and leaps into the arms of almost anybody who passes his stroller in the street. Obviously, this versatile person makes a fabulous - if temporary - lover. When they find themselves in bed with one, they may well be thinking of the next or the last great lovemaking session. Butterflies in bed, they can think up the most ingenious sex games and...

Whichever it is, it's a fun ride most of the time! THANK YOU!