At some point during the early years of your walk, you will have tried to obtain information from many sources. It is highly likely that you read many books on the various aspects of pathwalking, though all were connected in that they seemed to have some information that you thought may help you to struggle out of the shell of your sleep. Not many of us have had the opportunity to talk with someone who is a true pathwalker, and practically all of us began to get some idea of how someone who was on the spiritual path would behave and think - how they would appear to us - from these books.
It is an interesting exercise to imagine yourself as an evolved and integrated human being, further along the path than you are now and embodying to a larger extent your true nature. I know you have wondered about this, it is absolutely normal and human to do so. Bring that image to the fore now, and look at it with honest eyes. How are you acting, what are you doing in your life, where are you living, what are you thinking?
Now look at that image again, and imagine that the appearance of your external self is none other than the external image that you have now. Maybe your job, your relationships and your actions are little changed, and the only difference is internal - invisible to those who do not have eyes to see.
What I am trying to point out is that we each have erroneous ideas about how the 'spiritual' appear. It is so important to rid oneself of these false images, because it is quite possible that you are chasing after an impression of yourself that will never exist and actually has nothing to do with you as an evolved and integrated human being. We have to rid ourselves of the idea of holiness, religiousness and saintliness. Allow them to exist for others, but you must find your own way to manifest your sense of integrity and integrate it into the real world we all live in.
Are you trying to be another Buddha, Jesus, Mohammed, Lao Tsu or perhaps a powerful wizard or witch? Are you trying to be someone that others can't help but be impressed by? Or have you another image in mind? Whoever it is, you can of course allow their teachings and life to inspire you, if that is what you wish. It would be arrogant not to acknowledge their impact on the world we live in today, and they all had something to say about the human condition.
I, however, think you should simply try to be yourself. Maybe you will be ignored by the rest of the world, maybe no one will ever acknowledge how much hard work and endurance it has taken for you to integrate yourself. Imagine that it will never be known, other than by the immortals. How would this evolved you appear now?
Of course, it could be very different from this. I am simply saying that any precondition you have about your evolved self may well be stifling your very real development. After all, we are not the only humans evolving. Out there, a few independent people are trying their very best to integrate themselves and to manifest their potential. From my point of view, they haven't the luck to have encountered Huna Mua, and to have a very real explanation for the various stages of their development. That, however, doesn't erase the fact that they are evolving human beings on the spiritual path.
You could encounter them anytime in your daily life: walking, sitting on the bus or train, when shopping, at an office or in your place of work. They wouldn't appear to be any different from every other human being out there. Perhaps subtle differences would be evident for those of you who are developing the eyes to see, but for others, they may be invisible, or even attract derision and negative comments.
That could be you: invisible, never seen for the human being you are, someone who is trying to manifest their divine potential. So where is the difference? Nowhere but inside us. Inside us is where our reaction to the outside world originates and is formed. Inside us our thoughts and feelings are born. Inside us is the perception of our consciousness, that most precious attribute: the equipment without which we could not even begin our walk.
And more important than all this is that small, quiet room in which you have ignited the flame. Whatever its size, whatever its luminosity, whatever its heat, it is in existence. What your birthing integrity must first do is protect and nurture the flame's existence, its life. Feeding it as often as you are capable will enable it to grow and take up permanent residence in your consciousness and your life.
I want you to imagine that the light from the flame you are feeding and protecting now will at some time begin to shine through your eyes, permeate your actions, and illuminate your words. Its heat will begin to incinerate those aspects of your self that are not true. Once this process begins, the flame will never go out, though life will occasionally drive it back into that small, protected room until it is encouraged once again to engulf your being. Do not be afraid if this happens: it will retreat until your life becomes a fertile place for its growth again.
What I am talking about is the real spiritual path. Now, how that manifests in your life will be a mystery that you cannot foresee. Most likely it will be invisible to all but those who themselves are awakening. I cannot possibly predict its effects on your life. However, I can promise you that you will know you are changed, that you are no longer asleep and have awakened to an aspect of human consciousness that is available to all who wish to evolve.
Rid yourself of your preconceived ideas about yourself as an evolved human being, and allow the real human being to manifest. It is the surprise of this new and unsuspected self that will be one of the most enjoyable aspects of your journey. It will be unique, and will never have been seen before.
Surely, that is the point?
Copyright Kala Ka La, 2001. Reprinted from Masterworks International with the author's permission.