For whatever reason.. I'm BACK! Yes I realize it's been a year since I typed anything here and 2-3 since I really "wrote" here - fuck you! I've been busy getting my shit together :o)
And holy hell - I really think I'm self-actualizing!
This started out with a picture of Graham's Hierarchy of Disagreement. I knew right where I fit.
As a toddler, I had no safety at all. I was forced to do nothing but survive, often fearing if I would even live or die.
As an adolescent, the only parents I ever knew decided they didn't love me any more and I was 'transferred' straight to hell.
As a teenager, the 3rd foster home was "safe" so, like George Jefferson, "I'm movin' on up". Going to college on a full ride took 2nd seat to "safety".. I never had it, never felt it but DAMN! It's really fucking attractive. I think I can get lost in this safety thing for a while...
Um yeah... I stayed and played, clueless to the world around me, for 15 years. I think my Soul got bored and started putting up a fight. Check the progress:
1 divorce, 1 custody battle, 1 failed relationship with a psychopath who became my "first" Soul teacher, 3 years of battling demons and rattling skeletons (while getting fat), 1 "getting my boys back", an extra-strength dose of sexual self-esteem, one gastric bypass surgery and my greatest Soul teacher to date.That period lasted 13 years but I learned at light speed! I achieved self-acceptance, confidence, achievement and self-esteem.
Fast forward 2 years, one perfect job at the perfect time, a 1000-mile move away from home (definitely not staying in the cave), comfort & stagnancy, one son finishing college, one son finishing Navy boot camp and one son who wants to be a world-famous architect. Add a shit-ton dose of gratitude, sharing my gifts and doing-it-true and you have my LIFE!
This is something like my personal happy dance:
But to the music of James Brown:
Happy dancin' my way back home :)